Ukabya kwishyira hejuru mu bakundana ni uwo guhungirwa kure
Mu gihe abakundana bagiranye amakimbirane, hari amagambo yo kwirinda mu mvugo. Ukabya kwishyira hejuru (Narcissique), azikoresha igamije kwishyira heza, ngo agereke amafuti yose kuri mugezi we.
Munyandamutsa
Aba bantu bumva ko bari hejuru y'abandi ntawe bubaha, ntacyo batinya kuvuga cyabagaragaza neza. No mu makimbirane abakundana bagirana, hari ibimenyetso mpuruza bitagomba guteshwa agaciro, kugira ngo bahungirwe kure mu maguru mashya.
Kugirana amakimbirane n'umuntu bishobora kuba isoko y'izamuka ry'isukari (nk'uko ab'ubu babivuga), n'amarangamutima bikomeye.
Iyo zikuruwe n'umuntu ukabya kwishyira hejuru zifata indi ntera.
Kubera gushaka kugenzura byose, umuntu nk'uyu atuma ubwumvikane buke bukaza umurego.
Umuntu yatahura ate umuntu umeze atyo ngo amwirinde?
Dore interuro-shingiro umuntu ufite ikibazo cyo kwishyira hejuru bikabije, ashobora gukoresha mu mpagarara akenshi ashoza n'impamvu ari ngombwa kumugendera kure.
Umuntu uteye atya agira amayeri yo kwigira inzirakarengane ngo akure inyungu ku bibazo byose bivuka, agamije gukandamiza abandi.
Zimwe muri izo nteruro ni izi:
-Urakabya mu gihe umuntu agize icyo apfa n'umukunzi we akumva amubwiye ngo arakabya, bisobanuye ko atesha agaciro amarangamutima ye yemewe, akamutera kwitakariza icyizere, akishidikanyaho.
-Sinjye warakaye ni wowe: iyo agaruriye uwo bagiranye ikibazo amarangamutima ye atyo, uyu muntu ukabya kwishyira hejuru aba yanga gufata uruhare rwe mu mpagarara bafitanye
Siniyumvisha uko wandwanya aka kageni, buri gihe ninjye munyamafuti: aha uyu muntu aba agamije kwerekana ko arengana kugira ngo yirinde kwimenyaho kwibeshya
Niba unkunda wakagenje utya: iri reshyareshya (manipulation) ryo muri ubu buryo, rigamije kugenzura no gukura inyungu kuwo bakundana, ashingiye ku marangamutima ye.
Wakagombye kumenya ko byanyobeye: aha aba yiteguye ko uwo bakundana asoma mu bitekererezo bye, bikamufasha gukomeza ubushobozi amufiteho.
Hari gukoresha amagambo maremaremare ntagire aho avuga icyo baganiraho: Ni ukohereza ifi mu mazi akoresheje ayo magambo adafite ibisobanuro mu by'ukuri bifatika, kugira ngo ateshe mugenzi we uburinganire, amujyana kure y'igitekerezo nyamukuru.
Impamvu yo kugendera kure umuntu nk'uwo
Mu ntonganya cyangwa se amakimbirane hagati y'abantu babiri bakundana, uyu ukabya kwishyira hejuru we abyungukiramo, kuko bibera undi nko kwinjira mu kaziga ko kunanirwa mu marangamutima n'ubuzima bwo mu mutwe. Uyu ukabya kwishyira hejuru atuma uwo bakundana adasobqnukirwa n'amaramutimaye, bityo agahora ashaka kuyigenzura bihoraho, ni iyo mpamvu kumenya ibimenyetso biranga umuntu nk'uyu ukabya kwishyira hejuru ari ngombwa cyane, kuko bishobora gutesha umuntu ihuzagurika.